Fuck the Cable Company, Jucy Lucy

Well, for the fifth time in about a month my internet is broken, and it is total bullshit. They've replaced the modem, the router, the cable line, I don't know what else they can replace. So here I am, sitting at the mall with my laptop like a total social outcast douchebag. Seriously, who brings their laptop to the mall? Freaks, that's who. And the cable company doesn't come until monday to fix this, so don't expect regular updates.

But I do have good news. I have made up for my lack of internet by finally conquering a dish that I have been waiting to experience for quite a long time. The Jucy Lucy. No, I didn't misspell it. Google it. The Jucy Lucy is basically a cheeseburger. But instead of placing the cheese on top of the burger like any old joe would do, you put the cheese inside the patty. This creates a hot, boiling pocket of cheese inside the burger that, if it doesn't give you mouth 3rd degree burns, will send you into cheesy mouth orgasms for hours.

And so the journey begins. First, we aquired the perfect buns. Cheesy potato bread burger fresh from the bakery my friend works at. Many people believe that the bun is merely a tool, used to bring the meat to your mouth, but in fact it is an integral part of the burger, and should be given the same care the meat is given. That is why we use only the finest buns on our burgers.


Getting the optimum ground beef is also important. You can see us prepping ours right here:



Your next step is to prepare the lower patty, and put your layer of cheese on top of that layer. You want to make you patties thin for this burger, since you will be stacking two together. We used provalone cheese, but feel free to mix it up.


Place your top patty on top of the cheese, and pinch it tightly together around the sides. Make sure its tight (that's what she said!), or else you're going to get some serious seperation between the patties. Add whatever seasoning you prefer to both sides now. I used some Lowry's, garlic salt, and pepper, but you can be a bit more daring if you prefer.


The next step is to grill to perfection. Make sure to cook both sides all the way through. This is a thick burger so it's going to take a while. The best approach is a medium to low setting on the grill, so you don't burn the outsides. I prefer mine medium rare because, hey, who doesn't love a little bit of blood in their meat?


Oh, and some chill tunes are important. Make sure you have relaxing, feel good music playing throughout this entire process. Studies have shown that positive music played around cooking meat improves the flavor by as much as 20 percent.



Finally, add your condiments and enjoy! Prepare for hot, cheesy goodness mixed with burgerific perfection. Caution: Hot cheese may spray out, burning your face/mouth. Trust me, it's worth it. And yes, that is the tasty new Mountain Dew flavor THE REVOLUTION next to my burger. THE REVOLUTION is quite a delicious grilling beverage. I strongly reccomend it.


Follow up your delicious burger with a rousing game of outdoor poker. Remember, happy grilling!