Savers

So as you can see, I'm sticking to my "schedule" like the prom queen sticks to her lunch. I'm having a hard time coming up with funny things to say lately, as you can probably tell. But that's the reason I'm writing this blog, so I'm just going to plow onward.

The other day I went to Savers. I don't know if you have one of these where you live, but it's basically a Goodwill, Salvation Army, etc. People bring their old, crappy shit and you can buy it for a ridiculously cheap price. It's basically an all year garage sale. So pretty much, you can expect to only find shit. But every once in a while, if you keep a watchful eye, you can find gold in the shit mine.

My gold manifested itself in a pair of ancient stereo speakers for four dollars apiece. Now, chances were these speakers were more fried than Amy Whinehouse, but for eight dollars, it was a gamble I was willing to make. Plus, I was able to haggle them down to four bucks for the pair. And by haggle, I mean cheat. I hauled my purchase up to the front of the store and proudly slapped them on the counter. The cashier, who looked like he was between bags of meth at the moment, rang up one speaker, then told me my total of $4.27. Hark, what's this? He only rang up one? Well, fuck him, I'm running with this. I gave the man a fiver, got my change and dashed home.

And hooked those beauties up. And they sound fan-fucking-tastic. I was shocked. I was expected at least a little static. But no. So now I have surround sound, sort of, in my basement. I plan to go to Savers more often, to see what other little nuggets I can find.

Now, before we go any further I'd like to clarify that I really have only been to Savers about three times in my life now, so I don't have a whole lot of experience in these matters. But when I was there, there was what seemed to be a battalion of redneck militia men or something searching the store for useful equipment for their moonshine patrols or whatever the fuck it is they do. I'm sure you're wondering what I mean here. Well, allow me to elaborate.

There were approximately six men wearing military surplus camouflage pants, shirts that read things like "Kyle's Auto" or "My Other Shirt is a Kevlar vest (it really said that)," bandannas, and handlebar mustaches storming Savers. They didn't fuck around in the clothing aisles right at the front of the store like most people do, they knew exactly what they wanted. They marched straight to the back. Electronics and Appliances. The boys had done their homework. Once there, they fanned out, calling out useful gadgets to what must have been their ring leader, Chet. "Say Chet, we've got a scanner radio over here," "Chet, how 'bout this nine speed drill?" It was really rather frightening for me.

I'm not sure if this is a common place Savers occurrence, or even where these men came from, but I hope I end up like that someday. Searching Savers for the best electronics from 1986. And I know I'm making fun of them now, but when we get hit by those Red Commie Bastards I know whose door I'll be knocking on.